Constitutional Phone Sex

What do phone sex and the ongoing Presidential Campaigns have in common?

For starters, candidates, like the sultry voices on the other end of your phone, love to tell you what you want to hear. Secondly, hearing those words usually has a price tag. We pay for politicians salary and then when they want to seek higher office…well, we pay for that too. This is the political equivalent of “stay on the line and I’ll take off my bra” while paying by the minute on the ole credit card. Lastly, for presidential candidates and phone sex, the end is the same: lots of excitement, climax (think election), and then disappointment coupled with guilt and shame ( I assume, never dialed 1-900 myself, but sadly, I do vote).

Now, why did I drag our Constitution into this?

The Constitution is all the rage this election cycle for the Republicans. Consider these words from Michelle Bachmann in her announcement speech in Iowa.

“As a constitutional conservative, I believe in the Founding Father’s vision of a limited government that trusts in and preserves the unlimited potential of the American people. I don’t believe that the solutions to our problems come from Washington: more than ever, Washington IS the problem, and the real solutions will come from our businesses, our communities, our schools and the most basic and powerful unit of all-our families.”

This sounds awesome to a fan of the Constitution. This is telling me exactly what I want to hear. Then, you visit her website where she proclaims she, “will not rest until the War on Terror is won,” and that “constitutional conservatism” goes out the window. Our Constitution clearly states that only Congress may declare war. Out of the six countries we are currently militarily engaged in, we have declared war with exactly none of them. Iraq and Afghanistan got authorizations for the use of force, which is politico for “you go do what you want, Mr. President.” Congress voted against authorizing force in Libya, and Congress has not voted on using force in Yemen or Somalia. However, according to GovTrack, Congresswoman Bachmann voted against ordering the President to withdraw troops from Pakistan. Also, as of yesterday, Bachmann signed The Marriage Vow pledge to appease social conservatives in Iowa. In short, parts of the pledge ask a candidate to trample the 1st Amendment. Rick Santorum has also signed the pledge. So much for the Constitution, eh?

To be sure, Michelle Bachmann is not the only fair weather friend of the Constitution.

Herman Cain too, loves to tell you he loves the Constitution. However, he also claimed in his address to the Republican Leadership Conference that messing with Israel is the same as messing with the United States. Someone who loves the Founders should heed their advice against entangling alliances. The so-called Cain Doctrine would be a “two-birds-with-one-stone” scenario for terrorists seeking to spread American forces even thinner simply by attacking Israel. Amusingly, in the same speech, Cain proclaims, ” we have some altering and abolishing to do,” when speaking in reference to the Constitution. Never mind, this phrase is from the Declaration of Independence.

There are more examples from other candidates too numerous to mention.In fairness to history, this is nothing new but, it means voters must be aware of the difference between candidates who will tell you what you want to hear and the ones who actually mean what they say.  Constitutional Phone Sex has cost us our treasure and liberty for decades. Let’s demand better before it too late.

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